Judith: the Back Story

08 Apr

Judith goes on wondering:  DOES THIS MAKE MY BUTT LOOK BIG?

judith () unknown

Unknown, Venice, “Judith and Holofernes,” 17th century, Oil on canvas , 22 x 111 cm, Princeton University Art Museum, Princeton, New Jersey, US

Judith:  (sigh) All this working out and I’m still not happy with the size of my butt.
Maid:  Well, wearing white across your bum doesn’t help.
Judith:  Also not a good choice for decapitations.
Maid:   True … what kind of work-outs are you doing?
Judith:  I was spinning three times a week, but then my coccyx was acting up.
Maid:   You mean you had a pain in the ass?
Judith:  Yes, that’s another way of saying it.  Then I was using the stair climber but that seemed to be going nowhere.
Maid:   Squats and lunges?
Judith:  Yup.  Leg and hip extensionsDumbbell stiff-legged dead lift, fitball glute bridge, Frog Butt boosters …
Maid:   Maybe you’re overworking it.
Judith:  I hadn’t thought of that.
Maid:   Who is your trainer?
Judith:  Some girl named Kim Kardigan. Or was it Kashian? Or maybe …

Thanks to Rebecca Daroff DiMattia, Stories in Art for this find.

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Posted by on April 8, 2013 in Cacciatore


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